The following flaws appear in this short passage:

  • Instructions on starting an operating system belong in a how-to document, not in a conceptual document.
  • Comparisons—even to onions—are often very valuable in conceptual documentation. Unfortunately, this comparison belongs as part of the answer to a more advanced question.
  • Good pictures build insights, but this isn't a good picture. A picture of half an onion would have exposed the layers and provided some insight.
  • An operating system does indeed provide basic utilities. Unfortunately, our target audience probably has no idea what utilities are.